Dear tumblr, it’s been a while.
The past two years i’ve realized everyone around me has grown up and changed. Those who once used to be really good friends are no longer close and those who you once thought you’d be friends forever are barely a part of your life anymore. I’ve spent so much time rethinking what i could have done differently to make some friendships work out or why i didn’t fight hard enough to make sure i didn’t grow out of touch with some people.
But then i realized, why blame myself? Everyone’s life is different, we are all at different stages of our life whether that means we are focusing in our work and studies, living out the party life, or simply just settling down and focusing on what our future is going to be like. And that is one of the reasons why you lose touch with old friends, because of all these different stages in your life. I must admit, we are all bad friends at some point, sometimes we prioritize differently than we should. But all of that is based upon where we want to be in our life. For me personally? As much as i miss the friendships i once had, and i miss the silly conversations, hang outs and simply just the memories created. I realized that there are some people who do more to fit in with the crowd than to fix what could have been fixed long ago. If i were important, they would have fought to make things work before things got worse. I spent so much time apologizing for being a bad friend, apologizing for all my mistakes, and even my time to simply message and hope for a reply and i got nothing. So in return? What is the point of my constantly blaming myself when they don’t even bother to respond back.
And this is the reason why, i don’t put that much effort into any friendships that aren’t worth my time. Or at least, friendships in which i am always the first to take the first step in communicating. And.. i guess unlike most kids at my age, i am not the type to go party and get drunk. I’d rather go out with friends for a few drinks over dinner to catch up, a movie, shopping, or even just something as simple as a day in.
That is the difference between you and i, i am focused on finishing school, paying off my student loans, and then planning for the future and saving for a down payment on house in the next few years. You can say that i’m boring or not fun to hang around just because i don’t want to go party, but i’m making something out of my life. It’s my life to live and my choices to make, and i’m happy where i am.